We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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