y did u give ur computer a hand job?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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