needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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