U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
only you would photoshop your dick
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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