Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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