he thought i was a dude.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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