I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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