Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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