Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
