My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
FUCK WHALES
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
