You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
