I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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