just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
