i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
