Kiss
Puke
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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