Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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