..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
