I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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