just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
