please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Randomize
