You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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