Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
