She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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