So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
