The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
