Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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