i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
