last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
