I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
