a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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