It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Let's get the cat blown out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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