You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
