He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize