Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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