I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
