it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
