i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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