Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
