Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
