he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You are a genius and a whore.
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