Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
