i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
