My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
