i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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