if i can run in heels then i can drive
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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