You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
