Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
