That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
