what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You are a booty call, not a friend.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
