i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
They have beer where we have blood.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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