I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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