Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize