I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
