Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
