Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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