I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
